Last Christmas, I was a mess. Four months prior, I lost my first child- a miracle child- to miscarriage. My world stopped spinning for a while and so much offended me. Things that were part of my regular rhythms weren’t cutting it for my broken heart. Going to church didn’t feel safe for me, but I went anyway. I was surrounded by … Read More
More Than Stumps
I was burning hot mad. Someone had invaded my territory off my watch and massacred my yard along with the symbols of Spring’s hope that my fragile soul was clinging to. And the invasion came within inches of my child’s grave. The day before was supposed to be our due date. My husband and I had withdrawn to a quiet … Read More
Why Every Story Matters
Often, we get frustrated because of how long it’s taking our story to unfold. Or maybe, we secretly think how insignificant our story seems compared to other people’s stories. When I wait in transient seasons, wondering what’s next and if I’m even leaving a scratch on the etchings of this world’s story, I get caught wondering the same things. I … Read More
3 Things You Need to Know About Waiting
1. The outcome you are expectantly waiting for is already known by God. It might be hard to breathe as you wait to learn about what is next and what this means for the shape of your life. But for better of worse, God already knows what you need and is equipping you even while you wait to be strengthened … Read More
Make Room For Margin
Do you ever have days or weeks where you look at your life’s pages and there seems to be so much written on there that few coherent thoughts seem present because the jottings are just running off the page? When I was in Elementary School, I remember my teachers specifically telling us to write within the margins. They marked our … Read More
The Weight in Front of Your Reflection
I hardly know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with my bathroom mirror. I have a bad habit of forgetting to clean it. Tooth paste, makeup dust, and dried on water splashes are what I dodge when I try to see my reflection before heading out to tackle the world. And right in the middle of the top of … Read More
When Your World Splits Wide Open
Writing a book about how you’ve survived the process that caused your world to crumble down as it smashed your heart is not an easy feat emotionally. It’s like you’re reliving many of the horrors that you first experienced. And when you’re in the midst of this mindset, vulnerably writing through the story you own you examine how it is … Read More
Thoughts on God and Dishwashing
I don’t so much mind scrubbing dishes and loading the dishwasher as much as I do actually putting the clean dishes away. There’s something therapeutic about the act of scrubbing away the grime while standing over the sink, seeing progress. There’s lots of time for thought, prayer, and reflection while wiping mess away from plates, pots, and pans. Even when … Read More
What A Mother With Empty Arms Can Do
This coming Sunday will be a year since I labored to deliver the remains of my only child’s body. It was too soon for a delivery like that to bring breaths into this world. Before he could breathe in the polluted oxygen of earth, he took his first breath in the pristine air of Heaven. I knew about him for … Read More
Look Up
There’s something so ‘summery’ about sitting in the stands of a baseball game…at least in America. The summery things in the rest of the world must be pretty glorious, too. But when I think of summer, this is what comes to mind: swimming, corn on the cob, grilled burgers and chicken, peaches, blackberries, lightening bugs, fresh cut grass, flip flops, … Read More